Cover from “Big Time” Amazing Spider-Man.

So, Spider-man has been talked about a lot in the past year due to the new movie (The Amazing Spiderman), the new Ultimate Spider-Man Miles Morales, and of course the whole change of the Spidey Universe.

Does any of this sound remotely similar to you?

No?

Well, we’re going to fix that.

 

A lot has been happening to our favorite wall crawling super hero in the past couple of years and if you haven’t been reading faithfully then you’d probably be confused just jumping right back in. So here’s what you need to know… essentially. A couple years ago some guy (cough, Joe Quesada, cough) at Marvel decided that Spider-Man’s life wasn’t complicated enough, being an Avenger, being married, oh and being in the middle of the super hero Civil War where he unmasked himself on live television (smart right?), anyway…. the Marvel head honchos decided Pete wasn’t doing enough or making them enough money so they decided to screw everything up.

They made Spider-Man go on the run and become part of the Avengers who were going up against the newly setup Dark Avengers led by Norman Osborn. But, of course, since everyone now knew Peter Parker was Spider-Man, that meant that his enemies had an all-access-pass to him and his loved ones. Long story short, Aunt May gets shot, has a heart attack, and is in critical condition. Peter is essentially losing it and is desperate to save her. Desperate enough to even make a deal with the devil.

Mephisto is a demon and a bad guy in the Marvel Universe. He is essentially Satan, but in the Marvel Universe there are all different kinds of demons and such so, Mephisto is a baddy but usually he’s not a big concern. Mephisto still has crazy powers, enough to even save Aunt May. So he gives Peter and Mary Jane a deal. He’ll save Aunt May’s life if he can rewrite history and make it that Peter and Mary Jane were never married.

I know. Why would he want that? Mephisto states that it’s because he hates their happiness and that may be true but another reason is that the subconscious piece of their souls, made by the memories of their marriage, will be left over when history is rewritten and Mephisto is able to feed off the pain of those lost memories. Sound complicated?

Mephisto: He’s evil.

Well it kinda is. But whatever. Peter and Mary Jane accept Mephisto’s deal and poof! Aunt May is back to normal and MJ and Peter were never married. Instead, they were just together for a real long time and then Mary Jane broke up with Peter because he was too busy being Spider-man. Because saving people is selfish apparently.

And that’s really all that changed. Peter is still being hunted by Norman Osborn and his evil Avengers, yeah Osborn has Avengers… so that happened, and people still know he’s Spider-Man. But Peter goes to Doctor Strange who is able to cast a spell that enables everyone to essentially forget what Peter’s face looked like when he unmasked himself.

So they all forget Peter was Spider-Man and every comic fan is like, “Why didn’t he do that immediately after Civil War!?” I don’t know guys. I just read comics, I don’t write them. Oh, and Peter makes sure that MJ remembers that he is Spider-Man even though she made herself forget that information while making the deal with Mephisto. But whatever, only a few Avengers, the Fantastic Four, and Mary Jane know Spider-Man’s secret identity. For now!

 

Then Peter pretty much has his way with the ladies for a while. Like for real. Peter Parker was gettin’ more action than Jon Mayer. And some pretty important stuff happened with some Spidey villains. But here’s the cliff notes on that:

 

Electro: his body has become ragged and deformed from the constant need for electricity but eventually he becomes almost living energy and for a short time tried to be a voice for the people before being a bad guy once again. Bottom line: He has stronger powers.

New Rhino vs Old Rhino

Rhino: Rhino essentially gives himself up and goes to jail but gets released for good behavior. He tries to repent for all the bad things he’s done and actually starts to turn his life around and gets married. However a new Rhino shows up and decides he has to kill the old Rhino in order to be respected. He attacks old Rhino and accidentally kills his wife. Rhino freaks out, kills new Rhino, and blames Spider-Man for the death of his wife. Bottom line: Rhino has nothing left to live for except to kill Spider-man for ruining his chance at happiness.

Doc Oc as a floating head.

 

 

Doctor Octopus: Doctor Octopus, having fought Spidey for years, and after constantly having the living @#$!  kicked out of him, is now crippled. Spidey has hit him in the head so many times that his brain is starting to get dislodged and he no longer has use of his arms and legs. Instead he needs machines to do everything for him. Oh and he’s slowly dying because of said-dislodged brain.

 

The Lizard: So Kurt Connors is the lizard right? Wrong. Over the years the Lizard kind of started becoming its own psyche inside Connors head and suddenly decided it wanted to be the only psyche. So, he freaking kills William Connors, Kurt’s son, and essentially kills all ties to his humanity. Thus, making the lizard truly an animal. Then he kind of got a cult and then went back into the sewers with them. Oh, and he eventually ate all his followers because he’s freaking insane.

 Alistair Smythe: If you don’t know who Alistair Smythe is then all you need to know is that he’s a crazy scientist guy who’s dad created monster robots called Spider Slayers for J. Jonah Jameson in order to kill Spidey. Smythe kinda accidentally died and Alistair took it out on Spider-Man and started creating Spider Slayers of his own. Most recently, he became a cyborg-spider-slayer-monster-thing and even created an army of scorpion-spider-slayer-things. It was weird. But awesome. But I think he’s dead now. I’m not sure. He had a severe case of getting his throat torn out by a spider mutated mayor. But it’s a comic book so who can really be sure if he’s dead or not.

Scorpion: So, Mac Gargan, aka The Scorpion, was melded into his scorpion suit because of science and couldn’t take it off or he’d die. But after Eddie Brock lost the Venom suit it bonded to Mac and he became Scorpion-Venom and it was pretty awesome for a while. then it kind of got ripped off of him by the government and he kind of started dying. So Alistair Smythe made him a new and better Scorpion suit the he can never get out of. So, ya know, back to square one.

Eddie Brock: No longer Venom. Had a new anti-Venom suit that could cure anything (diseases, drug addiction, radioactive poisoning, etc.) But during Spider-Island he kind of lost that.

The Spider Queen: An evil spider entity that is essentially the opposite of Madam Webb and is also connected to the web of life. She’s also kind of a bitch.

Madam Webb: She’s a mutant who’s able to see the future. She’s also known for being psychically linked to the Web of Life which is essentially life connected to spider infected super heroes. The old Madam Webb was captured and killed and since then passed her powers to former Spider-Woman, Julia Carpenter, who became the new Madam Web.

Harry Osborn: Not dead. In hiding raising the child of his ex-girlfriend. Who’s also his brother. Because his ex-girlfriend was banging Norman Osborn. Oh and the kid has horns for some reason because Norman was injecting the girl with mutagens. That’s pretty much all you need to know.

Quick things: There’s a new Hobgoblin who also works for the new Daily Bugle and he works for Kingpin. And is in love with a reporter at the bugle named Norah. Flash Thompson is the new Venom, but he works for the government. Also, Aunt May married Jonah’s dad, John Jonah Jameson. So, Peter and Jonah are related now. Hilariousness ensues. Jonah’s wife Marla is super connected in the scientific world. Oh… and one more thing, Jonah’s the Mayor of New York.

Anyways…   Aunt May starts working at a homeless shelter with her husband, and accidently finds herself working for Mr. Negative, a bad guy, and ends up talking to Marla Jameson about Peter. Marla introduces Peter to Max Modell, the CEO of Horizon Labs which is essentially Apple on steroids(x10.) Max recognizes that Peter is a genius and hires him to be a part of his think tank. Peter is suddenly rich. Oh, and he also recently stopped being a man whore and had become interested in a Crime Scene Investigator for the NYPD named Carly. So, Pete becomes rich and has a steady girlfriend. Things are looking up for Peter Parker.

Ha. Yeah right.

Alistair Smythe and the new and Improved Scorpion mess with the newest flight of John Jameson III, Jonah’s son, and try to kill Jonah. Spider-Man tries to save the day and during the battle uses a newly developed sonic radar to disrupt Scorpion and the Spider-Slayers. However, this also messes with Spidey and he loses his Spider Sense. During the battle Marla Jameson tries to protect Jonah and dies in the process. Jonah holds her in his arms as she dies and blames himself for not being harsher on criminals.  Devastated by the death of yet another person, Peter makes a vow. “No one dies.”

Peter then creates new and improved suits at Horizon which he then uses as Spider-Man but also works them into practical things (light and audio suit into headphones, bulletproof suit into new bike helmets). He even goes so far as to prevent Jonah from killing a villain which Jonah accuses him of protecting a murderer. To which Spidey just replies, “No one dies. No one.”

Spider-man’s Bulletproof suit.

 

Peter then starts substituting for the recently deceased Johnny Storm (don’t worry he came back) as part of the Fantastic Four who now refer to themselves as the Future Foundation. Peter is still having trouble adjusting to fighting without his spider sense. However, the new Madam Webb talks to Shang-Chi who then teaches Spidey Kung Fu which Peter then adapts to his spider powers, naming his new style, “Spider Fu.” Madam Web has orchestrated this whole thing so Peter will be ready for the coming events that happen in Spider Island.

Spider Island

The newly pissed off Spider Queen teams up with the Jackal in order to create an Island of Spider-beings who are subservient to the Spider Queen and will connect her to the web of life and essentially make her a god. So the Jackal creates a serum using Peter’s blood and starts turning people in NYC into spider-men. However the serum goes from giving the people spider powers into actual giant freaking spiders.

The Avengers, FF, and X-Men start trying to round up the spider people while Reed Richards tries to come up with a cure. However many super heroes fall victim to the Spider Queen including Captain America and Peter’s only remaining clone, Kaine.   Eventually, Reed figures out a cure for the spider disease with the help of Michael Morbius and Anit-Venom. Peter battles with Kaine at Horizon labs and throws him into the antidote pool and accidentally cures him. He’s no longer a freakish spider thing and he’s cured of all his impurities from the failed cloning done by the jackal. Peter and Kaine then dress as dual Spider-men and move to stop the queen. I don’t want to spoil the ending but long story short… good guys win, bad guys lose. Kaine takes Peter’s special light suit and leaves town to make a new life for himself while Peter gets dumped by Carly for not telling her he was Spider-Man.

Which leads us to “Ends of the Earth” where Dr. Octopus essentially tells the world he has a plan to save it but at the same time is holding the world hostage. The world essentially has to bend to his will while Spider-Man, Black Widow, Silver Sable, and the nerds from Horizon try to save the day. Again, long story short… they do. This then leads into the latest arc with the Lizard. Which you can read about right here.

So, that’s what you need to know about The Amazing Spider-Man.

About The Author

René Rodriguez is a writer and reviewer for this lovely site. He tries to do reviews as frequently as possible but if there's something that piques his interest and he also thinks you should read it...well he'll probably review it. Mostly music and Spider-Man though.

2 Responses to The 411 On Spider-Man: Currently Everything You Need To Know

  1. M. David Enriquez says:

    This is really a great rundown of the last few years of Spidey. Nice work.