Bullseye gets a Hawkeye mini, and Ms. Marvel’s title has been taken over by Moonstone. Ares is conquering various books and has his own three issue Dark Avengers tie-in on the way. Hell, even Wolverine Jr is series-jacking one of his old man’s titles.

the sinister spider-crotch

In all these offshoots, the titular hero saves the mission, if not the day, and makes the other Dark Avengers who show up in that scene look like chumps.

But what about poor ol’ Mac Gargan, aka Venom? He doesn’t have any beef with the jerks he works with; all he wants to do is punch who he’s told to punch and maybe do a little good in the world. Sure, maybe get the girl. Maybe show some people that you can’t keep a good Gargan down.

Maybe eat your face.

I’ve been too busy getting bingo on my celebrity death pools to watch the recent solicits, so Sinister Spider-Man #1 was a welcome surprise. Chris Bachalo‘s cover really does drag your face in and nibble on it quit a bit. Once inside, it’s mean and fun mean and whispers creepy promises of fast, modern, pulpy goodness.

The first issue delivers the goods while still setting us up for the rest of the four-issue run. This oh-so-Sinister Spider-Man has all the set pieces of his Amazing counterpart – JJJ, Osborn, Six goons who are fairly Sinister in their own right, and lots and lots of girls.

Well, ok, skanks and whores. This is Mac Gargan, after all.
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Amazing Spider-Man #573 cover

Have you been keeping up with Spider-Man? Have you? Because if not, you need to find the last 5 issues and buy this week’s issue. Mr. Dan Slott kicked so much ass in this New Ways To Die arc… so much ass. Coupled with John Romita Jr.‘s art the last six issues of Amazing Spider-Man have been some of the most interesting and well developed comics I have read in a long time.

Previously, we’ve seen the creation of “Anti-Venom” in this series, the loss of Venom (well, Mac Gargan‘s body lost the symbiote thanks to Anti-Venom) and then some craziness with the craziest man in comics: Norman Osborn. This month, it all comes to wraps in Amazing Spider-Man #573. But read on.. I dare you…

**spoilers and more banter than you could ever imagine after the break**

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Amazing Spider-Man #570 50/50 variant cover by John Romita Jr.

I was going to start this off all cheezy like with a poem or something to bring something new to the table, because god knows I say the words “amazing” and “awesome” enough, but I gave up because after writing 2 lines I remembered that I’m not a fucking pet. Excuse my harsh language before the break, but it’s seriously true. I laugh about it though…

Aaanyways, this week’s issue of Amazing Spider-Man (#570) was quite a page-turner for me. I don’t know what the Spidey writers are cooking up but so far, it smells great. We’ve got multiple plots pulling together, major conspiracies, Brand New Day aftermath effects topping some plot points and just plain-old fun Spider-Man bringing it all together. We’ve got Dan Slott heading the writing team for this arc (this issue is smack dab in the middle of the “New Ways To Die” arc) and the ever-so-amazing John Romita Jr. is providing the unequivocally perfect art.

But let me continue and spoil it all for you…

**spoilers and possible hellfire after the break**

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