Kick-Ass #4 cover

Bwaaaaaaah! I am Mike Rapin! I’m a friggin’ zombie!!! Bwaaaaah! Aren’t you scared of me?!

You may be confused as to why I am a zombie (man, I have a sudden hunger for brains), but you can blame that bastard Mark Millar for killing me with his sheer genius. The most recent issue of Kick-Ass (#4, for those of you counting) really did a number on my flipping skull to the point of killing me. Oh yea.. I’m effing dead and unless Dr. Strange or Brother Voodoo is coming to save me, I’m not quite sure what will become of me…

But back to the comic: John Romita Jr.’s art had me drinking blood all throughout this issue. His art tells almost as much story as the friggin’ dialogue. I absolutely love it. And, if you haven’t gotten it yet, the story is so compelling, if you read it, you will (most likely) die and become a damn zombie. It’s a good trade-off if you ask me.

**spoilers and more (brains) after the break**

It was about 4:45 EST when I got to my local comic shop and picked up my copy of this issue (along with some other amazing stuff) and by 8 o’clock I was a zombie. It was a fantastic transformation. The issue began with none other than gallons and gallons of blood and death.

We see the mystery girl from last issue slicing and dicing. Apparently she is only 10 years old. But the double-sworded slicing and dicing doesn’t end until every person (save Kick-Ass) is annihilated. It. Is. Spectacular.

See, blood-bath.

Following this blood-bath, our mystery girl (who we find out is called Hit-Girl) takes off and warns Kick-Ass to do the same. Following her, Kick-Ass sees that he isn’t the only “super hero” in town and comes to think that he is just a supid kid dressed up trying to fight crime whereas Hit-Girl and her accomplice, Big Daddy (who we don’t really meet at all), are real “super heroes.” The way Millar works all this together in such a fast fashion only makes me want more (brains).

Now, Kick-Ass is scared. He got hired to do this job and ended up doing nothing but realizes he may be pinned with the murders (more like down-right slaughter) of five men. Criminals, yes, but still murder. Lucky for Dave Lizewski (Kick-Ass)–and us, the readers–the murders are claimed by would-be gang violence and Dave’s conscious is cleared. Nevertheless, he decides to hang up the mask and the public is notified via his web site. A sad day indeed… but sadness can only last for so long! (right?) Dave decides to try to find this Big Daddy and Hit-Girl online, but has no success… only creepy fetish-types.

Meanwhile, in Dave’s real life, playing a gay guy to get close to the girl he loves is getting him mocked by his comic book loving friends, but we are introduced to a (possible) new character: a rich mobster’s son who we don’t know the name of, but we do know he is richer than God and manages to buy a box of comics (including Marvel 1985 apparently–nice placement Mr. Millar!) at Dave’s local comic shop. This whole mobster talk segways to the house of said mobster, Johnny G.

Big Daddy (top-right) and Hit-Girl (bottom-left)

Apparently, the mob isn’t liking renegade heroes like Big Daddy and Hit-Girl killing off their minions and a hit is placed on their heads. Kick-Ass is mentioned, but is put to rest given that he said he was hanging up the mask. But the end all of the issue is just fucking perfect: We see Big Daddy and Hit-Girl torturing a mob-minion for information via him inside of an upside down car in a car-crusher. He gives them what they want and the issue ends with the blood of another “fuckin’ douche.”

So, thanks Mark Millar and John Romita Jr. for blowing my fucking brains out with this issue. I’m sure I’m going to enjoy craving brains for eternity… but I’m sure something (ie. Wolverine #68–oh my! another Millar title?!) will bring me back to the way I was. As for you readers out there, if you’re not buying this book you are doing a disservice to the comic book industry. Go right-fucking-now and buy all four issues of this comic (if you can find any that is).

Bwaaaaaah!