Amazing Spider-Man #570 50/50 variant cover by John Romita Jr.

I was going to start this off all cheezy like with a poem or something to bring something new to the table, because god knows I say the words “amazing” and “awesome” enough, but I gave up because after writing 2 lines I remembered that I’m not a fucking pet. Excuse my harsh language before the break, but it’s seriously true. I laugh about it though…

Aaanyways, this week’s issue of Amazing Spider-Man (#570) was quite a page-turner for me. I don’t know what the Spidey writers are cooking up but so far, it smells great. We’ve got multiple plots pulling together, major conspiracies, Brand New Day aftermath effects topping some plot points and just plain-old fun Spider-Man bringing it all together. We’ve got Dan Slott heading the writing team for this arc (this issue is smack dab in the middle of the “New Ways To Die” arc) and the ever-so-amazing John Romita Jr. is providing the unequivocally perfect art.

But let me continue and spoil it all for you…

**spoilers and possible hellfire after the break**

I don’t know what to say here. This issue stepped up a very high notch from where the last 2 issues were leading to. It’s an exponential arc. Something out of a math book. Really.

Given the end of last issue where Venom busts into the homeless shelter F.E.A.S.T., where Peter Parker‘s Aunt May is working, looking for what he thinks is Spider-Man (the symbiote just knows where anyone who’s had contact with it is) we see that Eddie Brock is found by Venom and shit goes ballistic. Venom–aka Mac Gargan aka Scorpion–thinks finding Brock is such a treat, but unknown to everyone (except maybe one person) Brock, at the touch of Venom, turns into Anti-Venom!

So this issue Spider-Man is on his way to save Aunt May and meanwhile Venom and Anti-Venom are duking it out, über bad-guy style; knocking down walls and taking no mind of their surrounding (especially those around them). In jumps Spider-Man to save the day and both Venoms decide to tell Spidey to butt out, knocking his ass high into the sky.

We see a page of Norman Osborn in The Zeus (the ship of the Thunderbolts) with Bullseye then we jump to some other subplot: The Menace. We get about 2 pages worth of idea of what this character is doing: Working for Bill Hollister and attacking him to get his ratings higher for the upcoming election! OMG!

Double Fists-of-Fury!

Then jump back to the Venom fight. We see that Anti-Venom has the ability to “cure” the symbiote out of Venom. There is an odd moment where Anti-Venom goes ape-shit and throws a car at an innocent person and immediately realizes what he’s done and starts to feel guilty. Spider-Man saves the man and Eddie Brock realizes Spider-Man isn’t a bad guy. I’m not sure if that has to do with something from Spidey’s past or not, but it helps the story along and Anti-Venom and Spider-Man begin to kick Venom’s ass. In the end, they end up getting rid of the Venom symbiote.

But the real clincher here is that Anti-Venom/Eddie Brock sees some of the symbiote still left in Peter Parker’s blood and decides to get rid of it… and then he sees the “spider serum” that is “tainting” Spider-Man’s blood and he decides to get rid of that! Oh No! And the issue ends with Norman Osborn watching of this fight and “curing process” when The Menace shows up, not attacking but he just shows up. The End.

Now there was some nice jokes in there from the Front Line crew and the DB crew along with some sub-plot with Stormin’ Norman, but you’ll have to pick up this issue (and the previous two!) to get all that.

I don’t know what you expect me to say here except that this issue was just fantastic. I’m loving Brand New Day Spider-Man and I don’t care who knows it. Dan Slott and John Romita Jr. are taking things in a very good direction and I want more… that’s why I’m so damn happy that this comic comes out 3 times a month. Hell to the yes.

This is just a bad ass scene. Thanks JRJr.